Thursday, 13 March 2014

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Do you ever feel like you could live and die infinitely through the characters you most admire? Perpetually shaping yourself after those you find most exquisite. Molding our general behaviors, our idiosyncrasies to sync with those we find commendable in stories.

I will forever admire the charisma associated with Augustus Waters from The Fault in Our Stars. The magnetism associated with his easy smile, his limping gait no more a put off than his bright blue eyes. Loud and boisterous at times and other times taciturn, content in staying silent and happy, Augustus was kind and he knew how to love. Whether it was Isaac or Hazel, he was willing  to love, endlessly and passionately. He was charismatic and I wish I could be.



John Bender from  The Breakfast Club was neither charming nor friendly. He spoke his mind and he wasn't afraid to do so, and that is what I admire about him. He was a child who had grown tough in a world that taught him it was the only way to be and he learned to speak through that. I appreciate his struggle and I admire his honest and blatant views of the world, seen through the eyes of someone who has already seen too much. He is true to himself and I wish I could be.




We build ourselves from the bottom up, out of people we wish to be. I wish I were smarter like Hermione Granger, brave like Tris Prior, as full of love a midst adolescent angst as Vada Sultenfuss. We are exactly who we want to be, and yet, we never are enough. As long as new characters emerge, causing intense self-speculation, we will evolve into the form of who we want to be.

Infinitely, we merge with those we are shown, amalgamating everything we have ever come to love and creating a person we can come to love from it.

Monday, 10 March 2014

Monday, March 10, 2014.

If these are the best years of our lives, we've been cheated.

Where is it said that a fifteen year old girl should have to fight the battles her mother cannot? Stand up for her family against a tyranny at home. An overbearing presence, a dictator of sorts, elucidating our boundaries. Where is it said that she must protect those around her, only to get lashed at, knife-edged words thrown in her face, breaking her mind, breaking her heart. 

A double-edged sword, that's what life is. A double-edged sword and an out of control train. No way to go without maiming yourself and no way to know where it's going. Hold on for a ride that leads nowhere in particular. Beaten around, cut up, emerging lacerated and sore, but alive, because nothing has the mercy to end that for you, until you've endured all you possibly can. 

The best years of my life are yet to come.. My best years are not these. Not the war-zone ridden, can't escape if I tried melancholy years of which I live in now. For now I continue building castles on clouds, awaiting the day that I get out, ready to run. I won't be back. These are not my best years.